What makes an online relationship successful? Clues from couples who met in cyberspace

Abstract

From a larger study of 68 couples who met online, eight couples were chosen as cases representing the sample to illustrate two kinds of outcomes: "successful," continuing couples, or "unsuccessful," relationships that ended. All respondent accounts from questionnaire data, interviews, and e-mail correspondence between partners were closely examined. Four factors emerged which seemed to differentiate among the two types of relationships begun online: (1) meeting place, where they first encountered each other online; (2) obstacles, barriers to getting together overcome by the couples, such as distance and previous relationships; (3) timing, period spent writing or talking before meeting offline, and how intimate they became before meeting offline; and (4) conflict resolution, ability of the people to resolve problems in communication. People who first met in places based upon common interests, who communicated for long periods of time before meeting offline without too much intimacy, who worked through barriers to becoming closer, and who negotiated conflict well tended to stay together. Future research and analysis can further determine how the process of forming and maintaining successful relationships begun online compares to those started offline.