Persons who have experienced a myocardial infarction (MI) and/or coronary artery bypass graft (CABG) surgery may benefit from a low-fat diet, regular exercise, smoking cessation, and stress management. Yet many patients do not make these changes. A spouse or partner's attempts at support may facilitate or interfere with patient behavior change. The present study explores dilemmas that may arise when couples talk about lifestyle changes following one person's MI or CABG. In interviews carried out in Urbana-Champaign, Illinois, and surrounding communities with 25 patients and 16 partners we found communicating support for lifestyle change may be interpreted as undesired control or criticism. The caring conveyed by talking may be viewed positively but can also threaten patient autonomy and entrap partners in unwanted expectations and obligations. Finally, lifestyle change conversations may reflect empowered patients collaborating with partners to take control of health but can also serve as potent reminders of loss. These multiple, potentially conflicting meanings give an account for why talking with a partner does not always facilitate patient lifestyle change. Understanding these dilemmas also suggests practical implications for helping patients and partners.