Frequency-dependent selection at plant self-incompatibility systems is inherent and well understood theoretically. A self-incompatibility locus leads to a strong peak of diversity in the genome, to a unique distribution of diversity across the species and possibly to increased introgression between closely related species. We review recent empirical studies demonstrating these features and relate the empirical findings to theoretical predictions. We show how these features are being exploited in searches for other genes under multi-allelic balancing selection and for inference on recent breakdown of self-incompatibility.