For parents the death of children is hard to bear and to accept. In situations where a brain death needs to be diagnosed, the psychological stress for parents who lose their child is aggravated due to a mostly sudden and unprepared confrontation with this situation. The rationality to accept the death of a their child is opposed by the hope for recovery as long as the children are "warm and dead" instead of "cold and dead" due to the maintenance of cardiac circulation. In Germany in this situation, after diagnosing the brain death, doctors are forced by legislation to ask the parents to agree for organ donation. However, to our knowledge, no literature is available how doctors should conduct such an important conversation to the parents. This manuscript tries to give some hints for conducting a conversation from the psychological background of mourning and from our own experience gained during the last 5 years.