This article explores gendered patterns of online dating and their implications for heterosexual union formation. The authors hypothesized that traditional gender norms combine with preferences for more socially desirable partners to benefit men and disadvantage women in the earliest stages of dating. They tested this with 6 months of online dating data from a mid-sized southwestern city (N = 8,259 men and 6,274 women). They found that both men and women tend to send messages to the most socially desirable alters in the dating market, regardless of their own social desirability. They also found that women who initiate contacts connect with more desirable partners than those who wait to be contacted, but women are 4 times less likely to send messages than men. They concluded that socioeconomic similarities in longer term unions result, in part, from relationship termination (i.e., nonreciprocity) rather than initial preferences for similar partners.
Keywords: assortative mating; gender; homogamy; online dating; social desirability.