Little is known about the changes in protein interactions inside synapses during synaptic remodeling, as their live monitoring in spines has been limited. We used a FRET-FLIM approach in developing cultured rat hippocampal neurons expressing fluorescently tagged NMDA receptor (NMDAR) and PSD95, two essential proteins in synaptic plasticity, to examine the regulation of their interaction. NMDAR stimulation caused a transient decrease in FRET between the NMDAR and PSD95 in spines of young and mature neurons. The activity of both CaMKII and calpain were essential for this effect in both developmental stages. Meanwhile, inhibition of Src family kinase (SFK) had opposing impacts on this decrease in FRET in young versus mature neurons. Our data suggest concerted roles for CaMKII, SFK and calpain activity in regulating activity-dependent separation of PSD95 from GluN2A or GluN2B. Finally, we found that calpain inhibition reduced spine growth that was caused by NMDAR activity, supporting the hypothesis that PSD95-NMDAR separation is implicated in synaptic remodeling.