The conduction of heat in two dimensions displays a wealth of fascinating phenomena of key relevance to the scientific understanding and technological applications of graphene and related materials. Here, we use density-functional perturbation theory and an exact, variational solution of the Boltzmann transport equation to study fully from first-principles phonon transport and heat conductivity in graphene, boron nitride, molybdenum disulphide and the functionalized derivatives graphane and fluorographene. In all these materials, and at variance with typical three-dimensional solids, normal processes keep dominating over Umklapp scattering well-above cryogenic conditions, extending to room temperature and more. As a result, novel regimes emerge, with Poiseuille and Ziman hydrodynamics, hitherto typically confined to ultra-low temperatures, characterizing transport at ordinary conditions. Most remarkably, several of these two-dimensional materials admit wave-like heat diffusion, with second sound present at room temperature and above in graphene, boron nitride and graphane.