Families often struggle with feelings of helplessness and futility in supporting suffering loved ones. Healthcare providers face similar struggles when patients' ailments aren't readily fixable. Intensive Caring describes an approach to being with suffering, inspired by the words of Dame Cicely Saunders who said 'you matter because you are you, and you matter to the last moment of your life. Intensive Caring describes how to affirm patients matter, comprised of non-abandonment, taking an interest in the patient as a person, containing hope, guiding families towards viable opportunities, dignity affirming tone, and therapeutic humility. While originally conceived for healthcare providers, its applications for families supporting suffering loved ones remains to be explored.