The authors compared mother-to-child and child-to-mother control exchanges in dyads involving socially competent, aggressive, and anxious children (aged 2.5-6.5 years) observed in a laboratory setting. Competent children and their mothers influenced each other positively and reciprocally, making prudent use of control exchanges and setting firm limits to coercive attempts. Aggressive children and their mothers were relatively positive, but children made regular use of coercive control and mothers responded indiscriminately and failed to oppose more extreme forms of coercion. Anxious children and their mothers were generally aversive: mothers attempted to control their children by being coercive and unresponsive, and children tried to manage their mothers by being resistant and coercive. Results show that young children are active agents who influence and are influenced by their relationship with their mother and who behave--across contexts and with different social partners--in ways that reflect this relationship.