Conveying to family members that their loved one has unexpectedly died during an operation is perhaps the most stressful task a surgeon must perform. The loss of a patient's life precipitates enormous personal and professional anxiety and stress on a surgeon: profound grief, damage to self-esteem, loss of self-confidence and reputation, and the specter of litigation. Most surgeons feel unskilled in such a setting, yet how they communicate-what they say and how they say it-is extremely important for everyone involved. Two distinct, but interactive, phases of response are relevant when communicating with a family before and after an unexpected death of their loved one: a proactive phase ("CARE") intended to establish a positive therapeutic relationship, and a reactive phase ("SHARE") intended to respond to the crisis in a compassionate and respectful manner and to ensure self-care for the physician.