The man I am trying to be is not me

Int J Psychoanal. 2020 Oct;101(5):951-970. doi: 10.1080/00207578.2020.1810049. Epub 2020 Sep 9.

Abstract

This paper explores the therapeutic process between analyst and Josh, a trans man whose life had fallen apart after transition. Repetitive enactments involving hiding, deceiving and mystification constituted a prolonged therapeutic impasse. The analyst's struggle with these binds and with countertransference confusion and anxiety, ultimately illuminated zones that had remained off-limits for a prolonged period of time. Where the couple had been snared in a bind structured by gender, they were now able to access a history of violation and to ask more profound questions about connection, aloneness, authenticity and loss.

Keywords: Gender; intersubjectivity; psychotherapy; relational psychoanalysis.

MeSH terms

  • Anxiety
  • Anxiety Disorders
  • Countertransference
  • Humans
  • Professional-Patient Relations
  • Psychoanalysis*
  • Psychoanalytic Therapy*